For some reason ive flashed back to PE... yes gym class the scourge of the lazy... no by no means did i hate gym class... but i never wholly loved it either... Gym class an i have aways seemed to have a love hate relationship... most of the time we got along pretty well but others it seemed like it wanted me to die in the most vicious way possible for something like forgetting to put the toilet seat down...

back during the elementary days i looked at gym glass as the time when we got to do the most crazy games ever... like duck duck goose... parachute sprint... medicine ball...

ahh yes medicine ball the game where we were give this HUGE ball that was taller that the short kids... and told to chuck it as hard as possible at a crowd of classmates... good times... oh there were also some more sadistic variation where you had to run in front of the ball with out getting hit... or rather knocked on yer ass... this was equivalent of running straight at a closed door then having someone swing it open at you as soon as you got into range... i remember once losing a shoe as i got knocked back 3 feet from where i was standing...

it was a fun time... but it was marred by two events that always tainted the experience... Phys-A-Kid and sweating to the oldies... no kid liked these things... anytime we got a clueless sub wed always convince her that these tapes were what happens if there was no sub... or gravity no longer applied to the earth...

Now its easy to make jokes at sweating to the oldies... about bunch of middle age people listening to music they like while a gay man back flowery orders and encouragement at them... Phys-A-Kid(PAK) though was widely believe to be a communist weapon against capitalist youth... Most of these tapes had a East German Olympic candidate going through a vigorous aerobic routine while some monotone feminine voice announced what mind-numbingly boring maneuvers needed to be done next with a count that never seemed to end on a whole proper number like 1 0 or even 10... now it was like 2 or 3 or like 14... She wasn't the problem though... the cyber-nazi was... now no matter how long and hard the tape was she never deviated from the exacting movements of the exercise... it was like they filmed her doing it perfect once then just looped it over and over again... if that wasn't bad enough she didn't sweat or breath heavily and blinked at precise intervals... this always made up not only feel inferior every time... but it really gave us the creeps.. most of thought she was a terminator sent to work us to death or something... there was a guy that did the videos from time to time... but he was worse cuz he was stare into the camera and if you looked into his eyes you could see he had no soul... more so that if you stared for too long that it felt like he was somehow stealing yers...

Toward the 4th grade I along with my best friends started a rebellion against this communist anti-youth campaign... we won... it always bothered us that we never had a lot of time to do the sports or play the insanely sadistic games... finally reaching a breaking point we staged a strike and refused to do the tape... We cited that that woman wasn't human or if she was she was on steroids and that cut too deeply into the time for use to learn and play some of the other activity... we said what was the point of the class when all we did do the tape and learn the rules... and we never had enough time to get good at the game... as soon as we did it was time for a new one cuz of those damned tapes (yea i got trip the principles office first day of KG so i lost my fear of authority much earlier on that most kids).. so the tapes were no longer done first thing but were used as punishment for getting out of control... now i wonder what we did to warrant the first 3 years of daily punishment...

So now in middle school thinks changed with the loss of recess so gym class became our de facto recess... now the crazy games were gone... accept for warball which was a poplar game up til high school when it was more war than ball... but heck it had always been more war than ball on the playground only during gym was it toned down to dodge ball for some reason lol... now i say yea for sports BOOO for outside... going outside always consisted of running in circles as fast as you could then always be exhausted when trying to play... really i learned this was done to keep us while the teach shouted orders... if you listened all you could hear was the teacher's voice and the gentle breeze... well thats not true... add to that about 30 kids trying to remember how to breathe after sprinting a mile... if there was noise than it was inevitable next time we running father...

this trend continued into high school with the had addition of more diverse sports like swimming and golf... but the funny thing tho was the addition of jump rope... it was like some kinda perverse prank... when i was little all my friends that were dudes looked at jump rope as a chick thing so we never learned it... then suddenly as if over night all my other friends suddenly could jump rope at a level that could rival a professional featherweight boxer...

And aside from sprint miles.. there where stair miles and marathons... now the marathons where hell cuz i had asthma and would be getting contact highs from my inhaler mid way through... but the stairs i didn't mind so much cuz i could go at my only pace... the reason i could was cuz the stairs were narrow and i had be clumsy feet... and what how could the teacher exactly fault me for taking my time when i had the balance of Pamela Anderson with lead implants...

so yea i can say i like gym class as long as it was held indoors lol... who cares about not being able to play soccer... it wasnt that fun anyways when the goalies were good enough to kick fieldgoals from the 50 yard line under pressure...